Author here--yeah the irony is killing me. It's PHP though. I'm fighting quota issues with my dumb host. I assure you migrating to something better is not my day job. Here's a pdf of it:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/1k7ngf52o822ccy/choose-boring-tech...
That's what boring technology will get you.
Snark by people who wouldn't do better on the best of their days? If that's the only problem: +1 for boring technology